Protecting the Goods... Well, the Bads and Uglies too.

Roller derby is a contact sport, there is no sugar coating it. You will be falling and hit a LOT. Unlike protective gear, you cannot replace your body, so you need to protect it, and protect it well! I link to all the brands that I talked about in the bottom.

According to the WFTDA/MRDA and USARS, protective gear must be worn at all times while skating in a jam (where you score points) even to and from the penalty box. When a league is under WFTDA insurance, the coaches will also enforce this during practices. From my experience, I couldn't practice with the other girls due to my lack of all pads. ESPECIALLY at tournaments or any other place, like RollerCon, if you want to take ANY of yoru gear off, like if your helmet is making your head hot, you better be sitting or your skates better be off.

If you are interested in starting roller derby, then get your pads on!

Here are the neccessities!

You need a helmet, and it needs to be snug and actually fit! Refs will check befoe every game. Photo by Grizz Photos

 Helmet – These are  helmets that must have a hard protective shell. While before it was a skateboard helmet, I have started seing hockey helmets without facemasks as well. When you get the helmet, you need to make sure it fits your head snug and comfortable and the straps on the side need to go down around your ears like a “Y” shape. You may just think these helmets are to add to the style of the skater when it is decked out with stickers, but hitting your head on a wood or concrete floor won’t look cute without a helmet. I bought a bright pink Pro-Tec helmet that was around $24 at a skate shop, which was my first and easiest purchase.

That's a big load falling,  I need my poor palms to be protected. Photo by Grizz Photos

Wrist Guards – These will slip over your hands and need to have a hard shell on the inner wrist part. These will save your wrists when you fall on all fours. I have large hands, so I needed an X-Large in them, which were kind of hard to find. I started out with triple 8's which I got for about $20, which were alright. Then, I actually came into getting some atom ones, which I like a lot because they are lower profile and I have more function of all of my fingers. It depends on your comfort and how much protection you want. 

While you never really think about your elbows, when you fall (especially outside) on them, you'll never forget again.

 Elbow Pads – These will save your arms and elbows, and must have a protective shell on them. You will fall on your elbows often, and these won’t hurt your funny bone! Also, the hard shells on this allow the energy from the fall spread out due to the hard shell, so the impact won’t hurt (as much). I needed x-larges, so it was hard for me to find some good pads, yet I found Pro-Tec elbow pads for $16 at a roller derby shop Rock Star Skates in St. Louis, Mo. They lasted me for about a year and half, but then the bolt rusted and then just popped out of the fabric. I was kind of glad because I personally HATED the way they make my arms look. After, I finally got ones that didn't have 2 individual straps (See pic of wrist gaurds) where then my arm fat would make a gross little butt of skin. I actually upgraded and got some ones that have a stretch tube of fabric so it covers, and I think it looks much better personally. 

4 Girls, 2 types of knee pads, both of which I had. Protec is a good brand, but I love my 187s.

 Knee Pads – These are the most important. If you are going to splurge on any of your pads, I would recommend buying high dollar knee pads. These will go around your knees and must have a hard protective shell on them. The thicker the pad on the knee before the shell, the better. One thing about knee pads is that they run small. Most of these pads were made for skateboarders, and the industry must still believe that only small boys wear the pads. As a plus size girl, I had a LOT of trouble finding GOOD, SAFE knee pads that would fit. Don’t give up hope, because your knees will get mauled if you don’t wear them. You can buy specialty pads that are measured exactly for you. They may be pricey, but it is worth it if you want to be able to walk. Since I couldn’t afford special ones, I asked around my league and tried on the other girls’ pads. I found that the biggest knee pad sizing came in Pro-Tec Park Knee Pads, and they were $34 online. I had those for about a year, until my fiance got me my beautiful Killer 187 plus size ones, which were around $75! I love them, it took a while to get used to a huge buldge on me knee to skate over, but falling is not so terrible anymore. Also, 187 just recently came out with a DERBY specific knee pad. Athough, I didn't see any that were more "plus" size, but not everyone has big legs like I do. 

My crazy orange mouth from my mouthgaurd. Photo by Grizz Photos

Mouth Guard – This is not only to protect your teeth, but protect you from concussions. Concussions occur from the impact of your teeth slamming together, so you need something in between them to protect them. Also, you don’t want to knock a tooth out. You can find cheep and expensive mouth guards. I have bought two, one that was “pre molded” which I do not recommend, and a one for $2 at Johnny Mac’s that you can mold to your teeth. The molding makes for a more comfortable fit, and it is easier to breathe. The BEST and most popular mouth gaurd you are going to see in derby is the ProDent, which are now called  SiSu and can be found HERE. They come in fun colors, and you can talk/breathe/drink in them!

There are more options for you to protect yourself, too. There are padded shorts, shin guards, tailbone protectors, knee and ankle supports, chin guards, and face shields. Personally, I haven’t got any extras, and most of the girls I know don’t either, but I know a couple of times I wish I had some pads to help cushion the fall on my backside!

As a rookie in roller derby, you will want to buy good pads, but in the realistic world, affordable pads as well. You could try to find pads from other players, or just keep a good eye out for ones for pads. They are available at most skateboard and BMX shops, and also may be available at the skate shop in your roller rink that you practice on.

There are a few brands that you will see OVER and OVER and OVER again. Here is where you can look those up!

Pro-tec : Very well priced, but not the highest quality
Triple 8: Also well priced and very common, still not the best.
187 Killer Pads: Most common knee pads, but very common in other gear.
AtomGear: Made by Atom Wheels, which was started by a derby skater. These are different, innovating with new panels of foam for protection and some are lower profile. These are gaining a lot of popularity.
Pro Designed: You can get these custom to fit your body, so they are made to stay put and are great pads. These are high quality and expensive, but may be worth every penny.

Passing The Test

There comes a time in your beginning of roller derby where you must pass some kind of skills test. Your league may not be WFTDA/MRDA, but it may follow the WFTDA ruleset. If your league is MADE, then you will also have a minimum skills requirement that is VERY similar to the WFTDA ruleset, except the exchange for the 25 in 5 for a 20 minute paceline. And again, you may skate for a team that is under USARS, which also has an incredibly similar minimum skills. There are lots of different rulesets, I haven't even touched banked track, and then their is renegade. No matter what though, if your league is SERIOUS, and your league wants INSURANCE, they should/will have testing!

There is no sugaring it up, it is hard and it is serious. Still, it is obtainable. No one is saying that you have to pass the test the first time- or even the fifth time. But if you are a true roller girl at heart, you won't give up and you won't quit testing. One of the worst things you can do is let failing the test get you down, as people and especially roller derby players, we must learn humility. This sport is changing all the time (Duh, new rulesets) and so not everyone is always on top of their game. This is truely a sport where new manuevers and  strategies come out ALL THE TIME, so don't feel like you are beneath everyone, we are all learning.

I took my first skills test about 2 weeks after I had all my pads, which was about 2 months into my derby career. It was long, and it was tough, but it was an overall great experience. No, I didn't pass all of the skills. Yes, some of the skills test that we did, I have never done before. Still, by the end of the night, I was proud of myself and all of the other girls who were trying their hardest out on the floor.

If your league is running under WFTDA rules, then these are the specific guidelines that you must follow for testing. Remember, the other rulesets have very similar ones to this, its all about safety. This one is the lengthiest, so this should cover all the bases.

For the Springfield RollerGirls, we require a 100 percent on the skills testing before being drafted onto a team. For other teams, this might not be applicable. The tests are either pass/fail, or they are scored from 1-5, 5 being the highest score.

So, lets get to it. Here are the tests, and my experience:

1) The first thing that was being tested was basic skating skills. While doing these skills, you need to have a good and balanced stride and use crossovers (a certain way to skate, by picking up your outer foot and crossing it over to the other side of your inner foot) while skating.

• You must show you can skate in skaters position (making at least a 120 degree bend at the knees) around a WFTDA track design, half of it while skating, half just gliding. When you first start skating, this may seem akward to bend and try to cross over because of your kneepads. Just keep skating and you will get used to them. Also, try to get low enough to where you can hold the back of your knees.
• You must be able to skate on one foot on a straight away of a track. You only have to do this on one of your feet, so pick your strongest one. Also, its easier if you bend low, and stick the foot you're holding up behind you like a still from a crossover.
• You must be able to go around entire track without picking skates up by a "scissoring" motion. Lots of people call these watermelons. If you are feeling that this is SUPER difficult, test out your trucks and see if loosening them up will help you. 
• You must be able to make cuts on the track (going from one side, sharply to the other). For our league, we must do three on a straightaway, and 2 on the curve of the track. Lots of people cut differently, but the best way I was taught is to point your knee the direction you want to go, and you want that knee to be more forward than your other.
• You must be able to T-Stop and Plow stop by a certain point, while going a paced speed. You will usually find that one of these is easier for you. To be honest, Plow stops are essential in derby. Also, you should learn Turn-Around Toe stops (or Tomahawk stops) beacuse they are extremely useful.

The Quadzilla L.K. of Green Monster derby products and skater for Puget Sound

2) The second and most difficult for many skaters is the endurance test.

• You must be able to skate 25 laps around a WTFDA regulated track under 5 minutes. The best way to do this is to SKATE THE CIRCLE of the track, and always cross over. The path that you want to take is you want to be on the inside of the corners, and then go out wide to be on the outside of the straight aways. This way it creates more of a circular track.
• Many of the girls who are beginning have troubles with this. As a slower person that is out of shape, this was all I worried about for testing. I did not pass, but the veteran skaters don't mind that. What your team wants to see for you is that you are trying, and you don't give up during that 5 minutes. I was testing with a lot of great skaters who have been in roller derby for a long time. They all finished before I did, and while I was doing my hardest, I wasn't going to make the time. Still, almost every girl that was there cheered me on while I was skating, and they were supportive-that is one of the greatest thing about roller derby. No matter how hard you fall or fail, your team will pick you up. ( I will have a separate blog about my entire 25-5 experience, that lasted up to a year).

3) The third thing you need to know is how to fall for the safety of you and other skaters around you.

• You must be able to fall on one knee and get up within 2 seconds without using any hands. If you can practice just tapping the ground and getting back up, that is best.
• You must be able to fall on both knees (our league requires no hands) and get up within 2 seconds. DO NOT try to fall on both knees at ones, try to do it like a one knee then the other knee, then try to get back up in the same order you fell on your knees.
• You must be able to fall on one knee and turn yourself 180 degrees, and get up with no hands within 2 seconds. This is kind of... dumb to be honest, I've never done this, but its fun and looks like a superhero when you do it with your hands on your hips.
• You must be able to fall on 4 points- falling using both knees and elbows and hands that are in fists, and get up within 2 seconds.
• You must be able to do a "figure four" or baseball slide, and get up within 2 seconds.

4) The next thing is testing your balance and agility.

• You must be able to step forward, backward, left, and right from a stand still. Our league does this by having a small taped square which you must stand in without rolling, and there are lines that are above, below, and to both sides. You must be able to step out of the box with one foot at a time and touch each line. Though this may sound easy, keeping control and balance on your skates without rolling is difficult.
• You must be able to jump off of the ground at least 3 inches, with both skates up at the same time, and landing at the same time. Jumping is extremely scary, but you can do it. It really isn't has crazy as it sounds, it harder to work up the never than to actually do it.
• You must be able to look around the track. While in a paced line with other skates, you must look left, right, and backward while skating and not interrupting the skaters around you or the pace.
• You must be able to weave around 10 cones on the straightaway and the curve of the track quickly.

5) The next set of tests are about skating with others:

• You must be able to give/receive a whip (one skater in front, taking the skater behind by the arm and pulling them in front).
• You must be able to give/receive a hip whip (one skater in front of the other, skater behind takes front skate by hips and pulls her self up in front of her).
• You must be able to give/receive pushes.
• You must be able to skate in a paced pack while not interupting other skaters or the pace.
• You must be able to weave through skaters moving in a filed line.
• You must be able to be in a pack and keep pace while you and others are falling around you.
• You must be able to lean against a skater, should to shoulder, while not being unbalanced.
• You must be able to maintain balance by getting bumped by other skater.

6) The last thing you need to know is blocking legally.

• You must be able to take a shoulder hit and a hip check and recover easily. 
• You must be able to give hip checks on the left and right side.
• You must be able to give shoulder hits on the left and right side.
• You must be able to do positional blocking.

After all of your skills testing, you will also have to take a written test. The written test is about the rules of the game. You can find practice copies on WFTDA. and it should be exactly the same test. If  you read the rules and watch derby, then the test is 100% easier. When you actually start to play derby, then it will seem like a piece of cake! ONE NOTE THOUGH: This test may be changing within the next year. Since the written test asks a lot about Minors/Majors that will no longer be applicable with the new ruleset, I'm sure a whole new one will come out. 

The test is hard, but not something to stress about. If you aren't ready for the test and you do end up failing, don't fret! Think about it, if you aren't ready, then do you want to risk your safety going out in a pack of girls, and you not know what to do?

Not passing the test does not mean that you aren't good enough. Everyone learns roller derby at different paces. Learning and working hard at your skills will make the day you pass your skills test even sweeter.

Remember, no matter what, someone out there is proud of you. YOU should be proud of you. Derby is a long, hard, time consuming monster that not every one does, and yet you are doing it.

Picking a Not-So-Plain-Jane Derby Name

One of the most unique and most noticed things about roller derby is the “roller derby name.” People who play roller derby are usually normal, average working people by day. And a lot of times, these people are more than just normal. The are in fact spectacular! They aren't just alternative people with tattoos and part-time jobs, but they are lawyers, they are teachers, they are professionals (even rocket scientists, I've met one).Yet, by night, they can take on a new persona that makes them feel fierce and free and empowered.

When rookies start to think of a new name for themselves, they usually make names that are plays on words or other names of famous people. Many of the names are a little violent or sexual, yet not all are. Now that derby is becoming such serious, athletic sport that may be in the Olympics  people are thinking more about their names. Some people even skate by their real names, like the entire Magic City Misfits men's team played this year at MRDA championships, and while I know they have derby names, they all skated under their real name. I think different occasions call for things, and I thought it was really classy. There is a fine line between keeping the camaraderie in our sport, and then trying to look professional so we can finally be taken seriously. I love hearing raunchy names (including one of my derby sisters, Molotov Coqtiz from Cape Girardeu, and Deep In Cider from Mass Melstrom). Still though, you need to decide what derby means to you. I know people who are teachers who would hate to have their kids come see them with the persona "Pussy4Life" (obviously i just made that one up.)

Many of the women on my league try to make a name from their favorite person or movie character. Its best read whenever you have a name that is recognizeable, because when you are somewhere and you have a name that has to be "decoded" it kind of takes the fun out of it.


Honestly, one thing I wish I would have done wheneven I picked my derby name was come up with a nick name too. No one ever calls me by my derby name, mostly because within our league we generally call eachother by our real names. BUT when I go places, people call me different things, but mostly they just say "Tupac". THAT IS A BIG NAME TO LIVE UP TO OKAY. I wish I had a cute short name so that everyone could easily call me it and I could save major $ in printing! So keep in mind what you will want to be called, and if you can handle being called that for a very long time.

Nearly the only photo of the entire league! Last game of the 2011 Season. Photo by David Strong

I think SRG has a great mix of names within our league, and these names have specific categories that may possibly help you broaden your specs to what could become your new persona!

Politicians/Government Figures:
Sandra Day O’Slaughter (Sandra Day O’Connor)
 J.F. Slay (J.F.K.)

Common Phrases:
Thugz & Kissez (Hugs and Kisses)
Jean with Envy (Green with Envy)
Seven Deadly Shins (Seven Deadly Sins)

Famous Characters/Movie References:
Bellatrix LePain (Bellatrix LeStrange form Harry Potter)
MissChetty Boop (Betty Boop)
T-Vira (T Virus from Resident Evil)
Kung-Fu Gripka (GI Joes Kung Fu Grip

Gangster:
Elle Capone (Al Capone)

Drinks!:
Milla Tyme (Miller Time!)
Amber Lager
D'Rink Sling'Her (She's started her own league now, but I still love that name!)

Pop Culture:
Brawl Things Considered (NPR's All things considered)
Tiger Beatdown (TigerBeat! Magazine)

Pretty gnarly elements/nouns
Khoas
Tandemic
Kastastroffie
T-Ann-T

OR even just sweet names that sound completely bad ass :
Psycho Suzie
Flat Nasty
Amtastic



Although there are thousands of roller derby players in the world, each name has to be (or at least should have the courtesy of being) unique. When turning in your name into your league, you must get your name accepted. By looking at the website http://www.twoevils.org/rollergirls/ you can enter the name you are thinking about, and see if there are any names similar to that name, ranking names from high to very low similarity. If a name has multiple high similarity names, then it is most likely not going to get accepted. There are more rules on this website http://www.twoevils.org/rollergirls/rules.html about what is acceptable, and not, for your name.

The demise of my sweet blood number due to confusion and misprint. & yes I'm bad and going to the box. Photo by David Strong

You also need to think about numbers when going into this. It can be up to 4 numbers, but don't let that stop you from becoming creative. You can have characters that associate with it, but they just won't be apart of your "official" number. But, leave in mind that it can also be odd. One of my personal things was I thought it would be BALLER to be 8100D to look like blood. But since I wasn't all the way educated, now its just become to 8100 because the d would have to be only 2 inches high on my jersey. Going back to it, I wish i was b100d instead. You live, and you learn.

When starting, I had a very large list of names that I wanted to try. It was devastating when I would fall in love with a name and then see that it was already taken. Here are some of the names that I came up with that were still available when I was looking to bank a name, but didn’t make the cut (for me personally, but if you like them, feel free to take!).

FREEBIES
Brawly Go Fightly (Holly Go Lightly)
Audacity HipBurn (Audrey Hepburn)
Charlotte Manson (Charles Manson)
Vincetta Van Gore (Vincent VanGoh)
Whippy Scouldburg (Whoopy Goldburg)
Blood Die-mond (Blood Diamond)
Golden Snitch Seeker, or just snitch seeker. Its a harry potter one, but when I thought about this one I automatically wanted someone to have it.

My Thug Life Lip tattoo. And yes, it is still there and not blown out! 

Finally, I picked one that was close to my heart : Tupac Shank-Her. When I was a freshman in college, I got a "Thug Life" tattoo. So when it came to picking my name, I thought that this would be fun to relate to, and I could have an extra gangster edge when i want to get especially in a moment.

Overall, you want to think hard about your name. Once starting the life of roller derby, you will likely be in it for a long time. You don’t want to be known by a name that you don’t like, so put some effort in it. In the end, you will love and become your new roller derby name.

Review & Thoughts on MADE: Roller Derby pt 2

MADE - Full Episodes

Going into this review, it’s a little different. I went TOTALLLLLY in detail about the last one and it was super long. I still thought it was relevant, but I’m rather windy.

 This MADE episode involves a younger woman joining derby. She is more “alternative” as you could say than the last girl. I actually SAW this girl at RollerCon ’12 this year, a little bit fan girled because I knew who she was, but of course I didn’t say anything. She actually asked where my fiancé and I was from in an elevator, and in my mind I was like “I know where you are from.” Creepy and weird, yes I know.

 We are introduced to “mommy girls” ally who changed after high school to finally express her real self. Aly is a young 20 year old girl with tattoos and a sweet haircut, and she even states she is a “work in progress” and a free spirit. She seems to be growing into her self and she tells us about how she is more confident in her choices because she felt stronger and more confident after making them (like dropping out of college and coming out).

 The thing that I was confused about was that it seemed that she was already a derby player when this started. She was a newbie, and was on the B level team. Which, to me, in her location (DENVER… I mean come on) is freaking awesome. Her goal is to become a “badass a level roller derby skater.” I guess I just wish I got to see an entire journey of a girl. She already was within the community and knew her league. With it being made, you kind of want to see ALL of the experience. The hardest part of derby, well a hard part amongst many, is jut starting and finding your grove. With leagues that have like, 5 teams, being a b level skater is basically already making it, and being 20 years old shes got a while to improve without a made coach.

 One of the biggest parts of this episode is Aly’s relationship with her mother. Her mom wished that Aly chose a more professional path to life, graduating college and getting a corporate job. That is something I can appreciate, because every mom is going to want the best in the world for their daughter. Shes concerned about benefits and money and education, which are all something that I seriously think about all the time (and I’m even in and almost graduated college and freaked out about!)

Tracy "Disco" Atkins of Denver Roller Dolls! Seriously though... Photo by Masonite Burn

 Okay so now is where I tell you that this whole episode is around the DENVER ROLLER DOLLS. I mean COME ONNNN. They are such beautiful unicorns! They are in the top of WFTDA rankings! All the time! They have Team USA skaters on the team! SWOONING HARD. I mean, her teacher is DISCO. You know, the amazing derby skater who is also on Team USA. Damn those glittery beautiful helmet. I also saw Disco at RollerCon. Beautiful. Unicorn.

 I just found it weird that she already was in the league and her made coach is already within the league that she knows. I mean, they have a ton of talent to chose for a made coach. I guess I just come from a league that even the new girls knows everyone, even the vets. I know we aren’t Denver, but still…

 One thing that Aly talked about is joining derby because of the “team” environment. I can relate to this because I was needing not only to better myself, but being apart of a team. Since joining, I know that its not just a team but and extreme sisterhood that has created a new sense of family for me that is really comforting. She also talks about roller derby being tough, not just physically but mentally. I can say this: Roller derby is like, 40% physical and 60% mental for me. There is so much shit to deal with and motivation and attitude and failure and happiness to cope with. It makes your both mentally and physically stronger, and at times, weaker.

 They have 2 months until Aly has to do “Test Ups” which I guess is evaluation to be on a higher level of team. 2 months in derby is kind of an odd time. I mean, if you put your mind to it, everything can change rapidly. But, there are times of plateaus that you think you will never.get.better.

 Their first private practice, I was like dude, this girl can already skate. Therefore, I was a sore loser and jealous. BECAUSE FOR THE 1200th time I sucked so bad when I started and get jealous! Disco invited the most heavy hitters in the league to come to hit Aly. I just love seeing some sweet hip hits. Aly got her turn but it looked nearly impossible to even move them.

 Aly said in the episode that she had a lack of a support system, which was kind of hard to take because she seemingly lived with her mother, who took her coming out well, and allowed her to stay home after dropping out of college. I’d say that she does have a support system, even if its not her ideal relationship. But there is a lot of tension and seems like lack of communication through them. Aly goes to try to have an open forum about support. It seemed to go straight into a fight.

Doesn't matter how good you are, you always are looking for a familiar face in the crowd to know you are supported. Photo by dbking

  Roller derby changes your relationships and your thoughs forever. Coming into such a loving, supporting family like derby really makes you change what you feel about your relationships. I know that I have come closer to my mother and Jake after we all joined derby. We start sharing all these things and we can be so real with ourselves now that its just effortless to love each other and be open and share. I am extremely lucky for that. I also know what its like to be in bad relationships and feel terrible about them and let them linger. Roller derby has given me the confidence to literally just not give a rats ass about negative people and energy who aren’t worth my time. Before actually liking myself, I would just let people take advantage and walk over me. I was needy. Now, I’m not. I’m not afraid to be honest even if I am perceived as a bitch, and I am more independent.

 One thing that I did notice during the show was that she upgraded her skates! Looks like she went from R3’s to almost like bonts with gumballs and avenger plates!

 For this eval, she needed to do 20 laps in 3:30. For wftda, it is 25 laps in 5 minutes. They are pretty similar in skating skills, but for this you need to do a lap every 10.5 seconds instead of having 12 seconds. Doing 20 would be wayyyyy better for me, because endurance isn’t my strong suit but within only the 20 laps I could pull out more than trying to save energy for the worst last 5. But looking at her, she looks like she is quick and has no problems with speed (jealous).

If you have yet to cry, please comment and tell me however you done so. Image from Pintrest.

 Disco really wanted to emphasis in hits, but especially HIP HITS. New derby girls I feel concentrate so much on shoulders, and lots of girls feel more natural with using their shoulders, but HIPS are where the power is. Of course I still often revert back to shoulder hits, but after trying to make a serious conscious effort to change I feel way better in my game. Then, Aly cried at practice. Dude, seriously, I hate it when people say there is “no crying in derby.” THERE IS SO MUCH CRYING IN DERBY. Its because you care so much! You literally go into practice and are vulnerable to critique at all times! Its hard! And showing emotion is perfectly normal and okay.

 Going into her evals, she had to do a agility test under 1:30. Her quickness was evident (shes a jammer…) and she got it with 10 seconds to spare. Along the entire thing, shes admitted her weak suit was hitting and taking hits. At first you could tell, but she improved each segment we saw her. Disco even said that the progress that Aly had made in a couple of weeks matched a couple of years of a normal skater (that is like, a huge compliment). This time, her testing was on hitting. Taking hits against some of the Denver women was not looking good for her, as would be for a lot of people. Being solid when getting hit to be able to absorb those hits are essential, especially for jammers so they can recover and score points. She ended up doing her 20 lap sprint right at 3 minutes (dude.) which is totally awesome. After, she seemed very confident.

 What I LOVED was that Disco was honest with her. I love a little tough love. In the segments, you could tell that she had a better night before when she was with disco than her evals. Disco was up front, and kind of busted Aly’s bubble. But, she is a made COACH and not just league mate in this series, so you have to commend it.

Denvers JV team. Photo credit to Dever Roller Dolls

Aly ended up scoring an “A-“ which meant she was able to be on a team- I'm guessing home team, and she was cleared for scrimmages. After semi stalking Aly, she ended up on the same Home Team as Disco on the Green Barrettes and is also playing on the “JV travel team” Bruising Altitude. Like I said, she was at RollerCon this year, so she is still with derby which makes me happy!

Thought and Reviews about MADE: Roller Derby episode

I know this is lengthy, but there were real golden thoughts that I felt. I tended to bold and indent all the deep emotions and things I felt that were on the broader scope of derby. I hope you check this out, and tell me what you thought about it.

This newly announced newbie is a stay at home mother of 3 girls, who is a single mom. Of course my first question was going to be about how could she afford derby with 3 girls and no job, but I guess that’s looking in too deep. Not saying that a single stay at home mom shouldn't play roller derby, that is EXACTLY what the sport is about. I was just thinking about her life after the cameras were that about how she would make it into the derby community.

Her story is very similar to a lot of people who wander into derby. Life knocked them hard on their ass and they start to lose their old sense of pride and excitement. Then, when they finally realize that they deserve to be empowered, they look and they find derby. She explains that she wants to find her old self and the confidence that she used to have. I’m glad that she just says that she wants to do this for herself. A lot of people do derby because they want to “look cool,” and I’m sorry but that shit just doesn’t fly if you want to be taken seriously. With shows like MADE it can be iffy because people on their try completely obscure things so they can be like “suck that peers, see I’m not a stereotype” but MADE often proves that they kind of are…

I’m not going to lie, when she says to her mother: “How do you feel about me becoming a roller derby queen” I was like… what? I guess I’m just at the point in my derby beliefs that it’s not being about a queen, it’s about being an athlete. I can see where she would describe it as queen because of the popular song and such, and I guess she would want to own her sense of herself as a roller derby queen. Still, can’t help but my first reaction.

some beautiful rocky mountain roller girls, photo by Masonite Burn 

Dude, at first I was like who were they going to pick for a coach, but dude they go and pick Rocky Mountain. I couldn’t even imagine what it’d be like walking into my first derby practice (especially for how terrible I was) being coached by the likes of Rocky Mountain girls who have been in the top of their region since 2008. While the coach was from Rocky Mountain, it never exactly said who the flat track team who Leann was playing with since they were in Texas. She did later on go to a banked track league for the Hellcats.

BUT when that biiaaa said “Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here is a whole new slew of free derby gear and I want you to show us your skills right now in broad daylight in front of the entire team and the world, so do it maybe” I felt terrible. I ALWAYS relate everything to my experience when I first started skating so I always feel like oh poor girl, even when I have seen so many girls start and they are BALLER and I get so jealous.

Honestly, she didn’t do terrible. She was doing knee falls outside and wasn’t scared. From experience, outdoor derby anything is extremely scary at first, especially if you’re not familiar with skating. Props to her!I really love the first heart to heart with her coach. Her coach didn’t just fill her mind with bullshit; she was so pure and honest. 

Derby is hard, and it’s such a commitment. It’s not tutus and it’s not pretty makeup with fishnets on. And then her response when she said she was tired of making excuses for herself was SO POWERFUL. Derby is so terrifying because you live your life kind of lying to yourself. You always want to tell yourself that you’re either 1) better than you are or 2) worse than you really are. When you go to derby, all that smacks you in your face. You really do feel like many times to make excuses not to do things, like “I can’t go to practice” or “I can’t do the 25 in 5 because I’m fat.” Derby makes you (well at least me) realize HOW MANY PITY PARTIES OF ONE I was having. Derby definitely has changed that for me and I am now grown up enough to stop making up so many excuses myself because I realize that failure is not always a bad thing and just because you fail doesn’t mean you can’t give one hell of a fight.

Photo by Terrance McNally

I was so happy that her coach took her into their AMAZING practice space for one on one time. Okay back to the amazing space, they could probably fit like 3 tracks in there. It is concrete though, so it takes a hard fall, but big girls like I love concrete because I can grip and slide at the same time and love it!

During Leann’s first session, I think it really struck her how hard derby is (which is where excuses come in). Her coach Lucky 7 had such a great thing to say:

“Time out, I don’t want to hear negative talk. Around me, and I hope around your little ones, you are not just beating down on yourself. Can’t is not a word in our vocabulary. No negative remarks, no bad self talk, I only want to hear good things about you. You can do anything you put your mind to and I BELIEVE IN YOU, and YOUR GIRLS BELIEVE IN YOU. You have to believe in you.” 

Can we just talk about how powerful this is? So many new rookies fall through the cracks because they don’t get this speech. Derby is growing so much that it’s hard to take every new derby player aside to say this to them, but it is so necessary. This sport changes people’s lives, and without a little encouragement, and a little motivation and support from others, they will leave without never knowing how truly amazing they are and can become.

After this first little practice, you can already see the glow on Leann’s face.

One thing to take into consideration of this is her time commitment. Since this is a show, the league I’m sure is focusing so much on her and getting her trained. Also, she doesn’t have a job. I know she has kids, but there is also a camera crew there. I just want people to realize that although you see her struggle, this is not a common derby story. Actually, its quite unimaginable. Getting personalized derby help daily from a league and a specific coach isn’t going to happen often (and if it can for you, then you are lucky and take all those oppurtunities). Usually girls walk into a recruitment with many other new girls and there are lots of people with little skills and limited resources of coaches. Many times, recruitment consists of a test that you can take to even be in the league if you are on a larger scale.

Going into a REAL practice this time, with other league members, and they have YET another practice space! SWOON. I know this is kind of trivial, but they have 2 spaces with 2 different types of floors and both are huge areas! Lucckkkky

Leann’s first introduction to practice seemed pretty dramatic for her. She got thrown into a group, and it was hard to tell what they were doing, but it did involve contact. What Leann was most affected by was the yelling. I guess going into derby, yes it is a thing that can start out as a “hobby”, but it is a hard core sport. There will be coaches, and some coaches approach to motivating is yelling. She started shutting down and not focusing on derby, and thinking way too much. You can see it in her body language, she just stopped believing she could do it. In her interview afterwards, you can see the internal struggle. I had so much of the same. 

You think you can, and before you start derby you have such high hopes for yourself and you think you are going to be super awesome and everything will take effect immediately. But it doesn’t. And even though you thought you were strong, and thought you could do it, you question yourself. It’s impossible not to do. I still do it. But it’s the strongest of derby players who just fight through that, who are better than their own selves to just ignore your bullshit inner voice.

What I thought was even more awesome in this episode is that you can see the sisterhood relationship building. If you’ve watched this show before, a lot of times the coaches are a little pretentious and think of themselves so much higher. In this episode though, I cant help but loving Lucky 7. She really isn’t just involved in being her “Coach for a TV show” but she get involved with Leanns life and helping her fufill her future.

Some sweet banked track action. Photo by Earl McGehee

This derby coaching experience was even more exciting to watch for me because not only was she getting to learn flat track, she was also doing BANKED track. Being from Springfield, I have never even seen a banked track, let alone play any of it (which breaks my heart). But when I saw their banked track, it was so spectacular! It was outside and looked so damn fun I can’t handle it. Then it started to rain. But even more bizarre than that, she announced that her FIRST BOUT was in 2 weeks. 

I’m sorry, but I can’t quite remember when she started, but I KNOW IT WAS UNDER 20 DAY ON THE MADE DAY LIST, and for her starting and having a bout in 2 weeks on a banked track seems insane to me. I know we aren’t shown everything, but skating in your first bout should never be rushed. Seeing her go into her next practice with taking and giving hits was also a little nerve raking. While she wsa taking some hits, the scrimmaging part seemed to show that this was a class full of newer girls (or they were just having an off night) but there were some dogpiles that were a little scary (not for my fear of pain, but my fear of unnecessary injuries).

Speaking of injuries, this is the night where she gets her first real injury! It was hard to tell how serious her injury was because people take and show pain very differently. Also, derby find a way to be a little bitch and break things even when you don’t think they are broken (and vice verse because you freak yourself out). Good thing though, nothing was broken!

In the meantime while healing though, Lucky pushed her to practice for her GED. I loved how much of a life motivator Lucky was to her, even to push Leann to push past her excuses. When she said that Leann was doing good on skates and in derby, but her life is a mess and she was over it, that really showed the power of sisterhood in derby. Sometimes you meet people who get on your ass because they don’t know you, they don’t know your life, and they really don’t care. But then you have those derby sisters who make you want to be a better person and they push you because they know you can do it. And that’s a powerful relationship.

Leanns return to skating, and moreso banked, was a nice surprise. She was doing great. Since I have no experience on banked track, I can only go by what I’ve heard, and that once you get your flow for the curves of a banked track, that it can be pretty easy (in a sense if skating is already easy for you).

Also during this episode, it showed highlights of what family derby players go through. You go throughout life and when you get older, you seem to live life for other people. That is especially true for parents. In the beginning her kids were super stoked, then not so stoked because they were bored with the subject of roller derby. Since its such a time commitment, I’m sure its such a struggle to balance the well being of yourself and your children. To resolve this, Leann bought her oldest daughter some roller skates. How adorable is that?

Leann goes to the Austin Banked-tracked league Hellcats to do evals to see if she is ready for her first banked track bout. Guys, I was hella nervous for her. Clearly she was as well. She couldn’t do basic things that she had practiced, specifically a T-Stop. I think we all have been introduced to this in our derby careers. Being evaluated no matter what is hard, and the basics of derby are just that: hard. But, they are the most important. The decision makers to see if she could play in her first game had major concerns, which frankly I’m glad they did. Introducing a girl into her first bout in only 5 weeks time, and not even on the floor that she is used to, should be CAREFULLY CONSIDERED.

The next day she walked in to her first bout on the team, but didn’t know if she would get to play. Can I just say that when she was explaining derby for the audience I cringed a little when she said the jammer was the most important player on the team? I mean yeah, jammers are important, but I’m all for equal loving to all the players. A jammer can’t win by herself (well unless you’re on team usa or the likes of) but I’m just being picky.

The Cherry Bombs (green) who played against the Hellcats in the episode. Photo by Earl McGehee

Anways, apparently this was the Hellcats most important game of the season. They were losing. But lo and behold, they want to “throw of their game” of the other team and so they put in the newest girl? I was kind of confused by that. How would throwing in a new skater throw an experienced team of their game? She voice overed like she did awesome, but the cameras never showed her get hit or fall (which is unlikely in a game of roller derby…)

Its hard to tell how much she played, but at least once she jammed, and she got lead jammer, and even though it looked like she skated completely out of bounds and in front of the track, she got points.

At the end, Lucky 7 admitted that she was training her personally for 3 hours every day for over 5 weeks. Kudos for Leann for putting up with that shit for that long. 

I wish we could have found out what happened afterward. I am trying to find her online but its actually pretty difficult. I thought I would easily find out where she was at now, but I can’t find her. Apparently she is no longer with TXRD. It’s pretty sad because I thought she woulds tick with it especially with her beginning credentials! If you know any info, I would love to hear where she is now and how she is doing. Her derby name is LeeLoo Malice, which I have found seems to be more than 1 in the derbyverse.

Anyways, that was my review and thoughts on that episode of MADE. I know it is lengthy, but shit like derby is my life and I wanted to see if television got it right! and I wanted to see what other people who don't know about derby were going to see. I was glad that it wasn't a joke, and I was glad she was serious. 

Derby 1, 2 3's for a Rookie, from a Rookie.

Before going into this post, I just want to say that this was written when I had just started roller derby. I was not a great skater when I started (not even mediocre), and I wasn't even up to part until at least a year into my derby career. Roller Derby has changed my life, and I like to think that since the beginning that I have been perceived pretty well throughout my derby family, even when I was terrible. It all comes down to attitude. After ending my first roller derby season, I feel like I have an ungodly amount of wealthy information, but these tips still relate to everything. I have jumped leaps and bounds for a first season, and have gone from not passing my WFTDA test for almost a year, then to the next year playing on a B-team, and then filling in to play for an A-level WFTDA team who is in the top 25 in their region in under a years time. While to some that may not seem like much, knowing my derby history, I am damn proud. I have had the most wealthy, life changing, personality changing, and terrifying experiences of my life. 

If you are considering roller derby at all, please keep in mind that this sport is not just for you to look cool. I take this seriously, and thousands of women take this seriously. It's not easy, and at times it is not even fun, but at the end of the day it is something that I love. I want you to love it too.

Moving on, I have not changed this from when I wrote it (but I did add images and captions). Therefore, it has lots of spelling and grammatical errors. It will keep it honest from my beautiful fresh meat days.


Roller Derby is an exciting and intriguing sport for women that has deep roots and traditions. There are over 758 leagues in the world that are manned with brutal broads that have been skating for years. Intimidating, right? If you are thinking about trying derby out, there are some things you should be prepared for.

As a rookie with no ties in the derby field, I had no idea what to expect when I walked into my first practice. Prior to then, I had never even roller skated before. Now with a couple months under my belt and advice from the girls in the league, I know some basic essentials for rookies.

The 1 photo from my first ever mash-up, which happened to sort of be my first bout.
I played in 2 jams, and drove 4 hours to get there.
Here is to highlighting my derby name, Tupac Shank-Her, #8100D

1. Roller Derby is not thinking of a cool name and wearing fishnets. Yes, these are things you may think about later, but when you are a rookie you need to be learning how to skate, the rules of the game, and learn everything you can. The names like Marylin Monrouge and Beyonslay are awesome, but if you can’t skate or hit, you won’t get drafted on a team, therefore you won’t be playing. There is a lot of hard work, time, and blood that goes into roller derby, so don’t disrespect the women of the league by walking in for the first time and thinking you are already a roller girl.

Just look at the agony in my face. Tailbone meeting concrete floor isn't always fun. Photo is from  Jeffrey Bazzell

2. Pain is the Game. If you aren’t prepared to hurt from shin splints, feet blisters, back pain, and quaking thighs, then don’t even think about going out to get hit by one of the girls. Just skating around in circles can hurt, if you are going hard and in a skaters position. Before you go into your first practice, you should ask if you need pads right away or if you will be just skating, or if they have pads for you to borrow. Either way, if you are serious about the sport, you will need a skaters helmet, wrist guards, elbow pads, knee pads, and mouth guard. Every girl will tell you this: don’t settle on the cheapest gear. You need to protect your body, and trust me, you will be falling a lot.

My first bout (I didn't even have a jersey) in Feb. 2012, over a year after I started. Photo is from  David Strong.

3. Don’t expect to be rostered for a bout (game). There are a lot of rookies that stay rookies for a long time. Like I’ve said, roller derby is hard. Not everyone is born to be a great roller skater, let alone being able to hit and endure pain like roller girls can. You can be trained to do the right moves, but until you’ve gotten a lot of experience, it is best for you to be in the background. You need to go to every practice, go to open skate sessions, speed skate practices, and spend time with your team. Just because you aren’t playing, doesn’t mean you are not part of the team. You need to start paying your monthly dues, sign your bylaws, pay for insurance, and go to the events. At the game, you need to be stamping hands, laying down the track, cleaning up, whatever you can do to ensure the best environment and game possible for your players. Don’t get jealous of the veteran girls, be supportive.


4. Learn how to play the game. Roller derby is confusing. If you aren’t out there doing it, then you might not fully understand what they are doing. If you don’t, ask questions. Don’t be embarrassed to ask what is happening and why because all the girls had to learn the game too. They have been in your shoes (or skates). The best way to learn the game is to watch it, a lot. There are many games available to watch on the Internet, and YouTube has a goldmine of roller derby games and skating how-to’s. When watching a game, learn each position of jammer, pivot, and blockers. Pick out one person to watch in each jam (or session to score points) and focus on them and what they are doing. Still, the best way to understand is to play, but don’t let your lack of knowledge of the game keep you from trying your hardest.

A group of SRG at our beloved derby sister J.F.Slay's wedding.

5. Your new teammates will be your sisterhood. As a rookie, I was really nervous to join because I didn’t know anyone. Soon though, it was easy to see that these are amazing women and they are open and willing to get to know you. You will be spending a lot of time with these people, so it is good to open up to them. Practice will be two to three times a week, bout will go on all season, and after-parties and events will happen whenever possible. You are not just playing a new sport, you are adopting a family and lifestyle. The people around you will have a wealth of knowledge, so don’t be afraid to ask them questions and to help you out. The people you can meet may change your life.

Another important thing to know is to HAVE FUN. This sport is hard, but it is fun. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t be afraid of looking stupid. Don’t be afraid to fall. Don’t be afraid to cry. Just keep rolling.

Back to Life, Back to Derb-reality.

Last night was my first night back to SRG since we have gone into off season/since I have been gone for winter break from school. Everytime I leave for a period of time from SRG, it always is ungodly nerve racking. I have been the only player on the league who wasn't on a team for a very long time, and its safe to say that it took me exactly 1 year to find a groove to where I can say that I actually play roller derby, and am not just a poser.

Of course, when I heard that we were doing the 25 in 5 last night, i tried my best not to freak out, but couldn't help but feel the jitters all over again. It had taken me not once, not twice, but something crazy like 6 or 7 times (officially, not counting where i had failed to do it in warm ups) where I had failed. Sometimes not by a lot, maybe just seconds, but still failing in front of my ENTIRE league, the people who had seen me be horrible, who had seen me fail before, but haven't all given up on me.

My most concern was not being used to the floor, or my new skates, or just... anything!

Over a week ago, my r3 skates DIED. They had been dying for quite some time now, where the boot and the heel were being ripped apart by the plate, and i could stick my pinky toe out the side. That was all good and well, i skated like that for a couple of months (Since Beat Me Half Way). This time though, i was at an early morning skate where I was trying to hit jake and johnny crash him, and then just as I thought i was breaking my ankle, it was actually just the heal and back part of my boot ripping completely off the plate. Oops.

I feel kind of awesome that I skated in those skates until they ripped off my feet. Anyways, I had known for some time that new skates needed to be in my future, so I had prepared myself. Finding the correct boot should be a whoooolle other blog, it was a bumpy ride, but final I ended up with Vanilla Brass Knuckle 2.0's with avenger magnesium plates. Thanks a lot, savings account! I got them on Friday afternoon, and then did the 25 in 5 on them on Tuesday. Maybe my feet wanted to fall off, but whatever.

Anyways, I get to practice and am put in the first group to do it, and then, I just did it. I passed my first try. I mean, i did try to do the 25 in 5 the friday before and passed it in 25$ pacer boots, but for some reason i kept thinking that Jake just counted wrong and there was no way that I did it. But thank goddddddddd almighty, Ellen counted my laps and I passed the fucking 25 in 5. And not only did i pass, all my friends, actually everyone on the vet track that night, passed, and some of them were not giving themselves enough credit and were kind of freaking as well.

The whole time was kind of like the twilight zone. When I do the 25 in 5, i feel like i'm in this weird other world... or maybe just completely blacked out. About 2 minutes after I do it, i feel like I have no idea what happened. I'm just glad I didn't fall, even though my body really wanted to because I feel like the back track gets bumpy on one side that it makes me shaky a little, and then trying to not get TOO much in the way, even though at times i knew I had to in order to do my laps (lets get real, the people doing it with me had it in the can).

After that we did some obstacle course, then we scrimmaged. I felt pretty good besides that when I'm on the floor i completely forget any strategy that I am supposed to be doing. There was a time when Amber literally yelled at me and said "Kayla? What are you doing? HIT HER!" and I just feel I always forget to hit people haha. And, I chase a lot, but not when chasing the other jammer, but chasing when trying to hit people who are chasing MY jammer. There is a million things I need to know about strategy and derby in general, but i had such a great team last night who had so much great constructive criticism, and they were really supportive and told me that I did a good job (which when coming from Chetty, lets get real, i feel like i might pee my pants).

Overall, it just feels soooooo amazing to finally be back. I forget how much I love the people here. Laughing a lot at after practice good eats, and then just being in practice surrounded by quality people that I am really good friends with, and am truly a fan of.

Now I just need to get through drafts and catch up on my wftda retesting, and hopefully I will be able to buy a beautiful pink and black Battle Broad jersey :):)